30 March 2006
File: History (The Originals)
In high school, my friend Christel and I had this bit. The Olan Mills dorky picture bit. Most people took them seriously, with boyfriends posing sweetly with their girlfriends and the what not. Our group of friends didn't and I have many the photographic evidence.
The above pic being proof. I love these pictures of us. This frame has sat on or near my desk for almost ten years now. Wow.
In college, Christel and I shared an apartment we named Tahiti which, until we found out that Danny Rollings killed someone there, was a great place to live. In any case, we had a cute frog decor, complete with a stuffed frog that smoked a cigar.
I saw the above frogs in Borders right before Christel's birthday this year. (Her birthday is in Feb., so as usual, I'm running a bit late.) I knew I must do a photo shoot with them. And, so it is.
The next phase will be separation, alas. Frog one "Bito" will be sent to Florida to keep Christel company. I will keep frog two "Chito" so I can remember Tahiti.
23 March 2006
File: Art
So, my worry was not needed. (I suppose it never is.) I felt really good about class. Man, I've missed doing improv. It's neat to come back to it. When I was doing it last time around, Charna told me that I have the knowledge about the ways to do it and knew the rules, but that it needed to come out in my body, that I needed to take my knowledge and translate it to the stage. I felt able to do that last night. I don't know why, I just reacted to what as going on around me.
Upon arrival, it was a little weird. I thought we were supposed to meet in the lobby; nobody was there. I heard the voice of Keith, my temporary teacher, in the theatre and walked in. I wasn't sure if I was in the right place, as I wasn't on his roster. Turns out, they put me on Matt's roster, but we had decided last night that wasn't a good idea, so I stayed in Keith's class.
I like this class. The people have different backgrounds: from a law professor, to an English teacher, to a carpenter, and all degrees of experience both inside improv and outside improv. They were all together for the last level so I'm the newbie, but they were all very nice to me and made me feel welcome. From what I saw in class and afterward (we went for beers), I like them as people, too.
Keith had us place ourselves on stage based on different criteria (improv history, placement in family, etc.). Then, we walked around embodying different emotions (the most joyful person we know, the most emotionally repressed person we know), Then, scenework. He's a good teacher. He gave us some great tools. The first came from the psychology book Games People Play (note to self: read). He gave someone in the scene a game, someone in the scene picked an action from the hat, and at the right moment, someone in the scene picked an emotion from the hat.
I didn't do so well with the emotion part. My emotion was affection (is that an emotion, really?). I didn't know how to play it, and the scene that was going on was a living room scene with Grandma trying to one-up everyone else, which was a fun game, but it got a little scrunched together and talky. I just was very huggy. Looking back, I wish I would have walked in with an animal or something else to care for so I could give the affection but wasn't the other players so I'd be able to play the game.
I did better on my action. It was in a kitchen. I cooked eggs. My object work is horrendous. It was fun because the staging placed me in the middle of a game (I'm really not attracted to you) which was well-played by a girl in my class, Caitlin. Matt, a classmate not my spouse, played someone who wanted fried eggs, which upset my character because he ordered scrambled eggs every morning. I wish I could capture the scene, but it was fun to do. I realized, after this scene, that I'm better than I used to be because in the past I was afraid to speak if I didn't have anything in mind. Here, I had nothing in mind and would just look at what was ahead of me and come back to it. "Pepper, salt?" Occasionally, I would come back to it with whatever came to my mind, "Pepper, salt, hand?" Someone in my class commented that was funny. I had no idea.
The first scene I did was the game. It went really well and was a nice relief that I was capable of doing improv. The game Keith gave me was "I'm so bad, see if you can stop me." It was so much fun. So much fun. I was nervous upon reading it because I had just seen another classmate, Louis, do the same game very, very well. He kept throwing apples and moving his feet like circles. It was damn funny. In mine, my scene partner was walking his dog/sheep (it kept changing). I don't know what made me do this, but I decided to love it till it hurts to see if they would stop me. "I'm going to lick it." At one point I was underneath the sheep/dog hugging it with my whole body. My third scene partner (I haven't learned everyone's name yet) walked in and said that it wasn't the same since our mother had died. At which point, I just reacted. I screamed a high pitch whine. And held it. And held it. And held it until people laughed. My partners would speak, but then I would scream again, playing with the volume and pitch length. It was a lot of fun (although it sort of hurt my voice). I didn't plan anything--I was just in the moment and reacting to the people and emotions around me. This is what I had been trying to do in my improv planning and performing before and never quite accomplished. It felt great to be able to do that.
We did some more object work, walking into a room with an emotion (rage) and interacting with all the stuff left in it by previous occupants, create your own, and then leave. I was the last one and didn't do the best job. You can't always hit home runs.
We played emotional symphony which is a cool game that's a lot of fun. (People emote to a given emotion conducted like a symphony). After class, I was emotionally and physically tired. I understand why Matt's so wiped after a CSZ show.
I realized that I have some potential. Some of my classmates found me to be funny (hooray!). Most importantly, I was relaxed, open, and enjoying everything that was going on around me. I need to remember this attitude and feeling because it's so much easier t be than to try. I hope I'm able to retain this as the weeks go on.
In the meantime, it feels so good to be back.
Upon arrival, it was a little weird. I thought we were supposed to meet in the lobby; nobody was there. I heard the voice of Keith, my temporary teacher, in the theatre and walked in. I wasn't sure if I was in the right place, as I wasn't on his roster. Turns out, they put me on Matt's roster, but we had decided last night that wasn't a good idea, so I stayed in Keith's class.
I like this class. The people have different backgrounds: from a law professor, to an English teacher, to a carpenter, and all degrees of experience both inside improv and outside improv. They were all together for the last level so I'm the newbie, but they were all very nice to me and made me feel welcome. From what I saw in class and afterward (we went for beers), I like them as people, too.
Keith had us place ourselves on stage based on different criteria (improv history, placement in family, etc.). Then, we walked around embodying different emotions (the most joyful person we know, the most emotionally repressed person we know), Then, scenework. He's a good teacher. He gave us some great tools. The first came from the psychology book Games People Play (note to self: read). He gave someone in the scene a game, someone in the scene picked an action from the hat, and at the right moment, someone in the scene picked an emotion from the hat.
I didn't do so well with the emotion part. My emotion was affection (is that an emotion, really?). I didn't know how to play it, and the scene that was going on was a living room scene with Grandma trying to one-up everyone else, which was a fun game, but it got a little scrunched together and talky. I just was very huggy. Looking back, I wish I would have walked in with an animal or something else to care for so I could give the affection but wasn't the other players so I'd be able to play the game.
I did better on my action. It was in a kitchen. I cooked eggs. My object work is horrendous. It was fun because the staging placed me in the middle of a game (I'm really not attracted to you) which was well-played by a girl in my class, Caitlin. Matt, a classmate not my spouse, played someone who wanted fried eggs, which upset my character because he ordered scrambled eggs every morning. I wish I could capture the scene, but it was fun to do. I realized, after this scene, that I'm better than I used to be because in the past I was afraid to speak if I didn't have anything in mind. Here, I had nothing in mind and would just look at what was ahead of me and come back to it. "Pepper, salt?" Occasionally, I would come back to it with whatever came to my mind, "Pepper, salt, hand?" Someone in my class commented that was funny. I had no idea.
The first scene I did was the game. It went really well and was a nice relief that I was capable of doing improv. The game Keith gave me was "I'm so bad, see if you can stop me." It was so much fun. So much fun. I was nervous upon reading it because I had just seen another classmate, Louis, do the same game very, very well. He kept throwing apples and moving his feet like circles. It was damn funny. In mine, my scene partner was walking his dog/sheep (it kept changing). I don't know what made me do this, but I decided to love it till it hurts to see if they would stop me. "I'm going to lick it." At one point I was underneath the sheep/dog hugging it with my whole body. My third scene partner (I haven't learned everyone's name yet) walked in and said that it wasn't the same since our mother had died. At which point, I just reacted. I screamed a high pitch whine. And held it. And held it. And held it until people laughed. My partners would speak, but then I would scream again, playing with the volume and pitch length. It was a lot of fun (although it sort of hurt my voice). I didn't plan anything--I was just in the moment and reacting to the people and emotions around me. This is what I had been trying to do in my improv planning and performing before and never quite accomplished. It felt great to be able to do that.
We did some more object work, walking into a room with an emotion (rage) and interacting with all the stuff left in it by previous occupants, create your own, and then leave. I was the last one and didn't do the best job. You can't always hit home runs.
We played emotional symphony which is a cool game that's a lot of fun. (People emote to a given emotion conducted like a symphony). After class, I was emotionally and physically tired. I understand why Matt's so wiped after a CSZ show.
I realized that I have some potential. Some of my classmates found me to be funny (hooray!). Most importantly, I was relaxed, open, and enjoying everything that was going on around me. I need to remember this attitude and feeling because it's so much easier t be than to try. I hope I'm able to retain this as the weeks go on.
In the meantime, it feels so good to be back.
22 March 2006
File: Art
So, tonight's my first improv class. Matt's teaching the same level, but a different class. I feel strange about the whole thing. I wanted to be in his class, but understand it's a conflict of interest. That said, I feel safe around him.
Truth is, I'm scared. That's part of the reason I'm taking the class. I miss performing and I think I miss improv. I realize that I may just be in a place where I remember the good of improv and that's what I'm coveting. Yet, as I get ready for my class tonight, the bad of improv is starting to rejoin me: hugging the backwall, praying for the show to be over, that nobody would notice that I have nothing to contribute, no ability to create a believable world out of nothing based off what my stage partner has said. I have that knot in my stomach that it's there again, that I'm bound to fail, the gawky girl in the corner who everyone likes but nobody has the heart to tell she's horrible. Or the girl who really is horrible and it's just acknowledged. Truthfully, I don't know which one is worse.
Matt said some really nice things to me last night—about the ensemble in general, about the amount of people who believe and want me (and everyone in the classes) to succeed. I am coming to improv with a different attitude. I no longer have anything to prove. I don't have to earn my space or justify my reason for being there, as I thought I had to the first time around. I'm taking a class because I want to, and have accepted that I am a student, nothing more, nothing less.
Maybe that's why I'm taking so many classes this spring (currently signed up for this, piano, and voice). I want to return as a student for the joy of studying, not for any real reason than a desire to better myself in areas that interest me.
I'm still nervous and scared, but am excited about it and think it's going to be fun. I feel inspired by our friend Dave who blogs about his Tai Chi classes. Some go well, some don't. He's a student (I think) because he wants to learn and he puts his best effort into each one, not knowing if that night will be a success or failure. I'm going to attempt to emulate that tonight.
Truth is, I'm scared. That's part of the reason I'm taking the class. I miss performing and I think I miss improv. I realize that I may just be in a place where I remember the good of improv and that's what I'm coveting. Yet, as I get ready for my class tonight, the bad of improv is starting to rejoin me: hugging the backwall, praying for the show to be over, that nobody would notice that I have nothing to contribute, no ability to create a believable world out of nothing based off what my stage partner has said. I have that knot in my stomach that it's there again, that I'm bound to fail, the gawky girl in the corner who everyone likes but nobody has the heart to tell she's horrible. Or the girl who really is horrible and it's just acknowledged. Truthfully, I don't know which one is worse.
Matt said some really nice things to me last night—about the ensemble in general, about the amount of people who believe and want me (and everyone in the classes) to succeed. I am coming to improv with a different attitude. I no longer have anything to prove. I don't have to earn my space or justify my reason for being there, as I thought I had to the first time around. I'm taking a class because I want to, and have accepted that I am a student, nothing more, nothing less.
Maybe that's why I'm taking so many classes this spring (currently signed up for this, piano, and voice). I want to return as a student for the joy of studying, not for any real reason than a desire to better myself in areas that interest me.
I'm still nervous and scared, but am excited about it and think it's going to be fun. I feel inspired by our friend Dave who blogs about his Tai Chi classes. Some go well, some don't. He's a student (I think) because he wants to learn and he puts his best effort into each one, not knowing if that night will be a success or failure. I'm going to attempt to emulate that tonight.
20 March 2006
You have new Picture Mail!
Rio is feeling better. Here she is breaking into the weather proofed window. Hopefully spring will come soon.
17 March 2006
15 March 2006
You have new Picture Mail!
Rio is not feeling well. So, we are currently at the vet. Poor thing has a very upset tummy.
14 March 2006
File: Work
Humpday jokes have begun.
As in, "It's almost Humpday. The week's almost gone."
True conversation from the hallway.
As in, "It's almost Humpday. The week's almost gone."
True conversation from the hallway.
File: Goals
This is the spring of scare-the-hell-out-of-me. That means I'm going to do things that scare me, despite being afraid. Why? Different reasons for all, mostly just to better myself and try things that I've failed in or haven't tried because of failure.
My goals this spring:
1. Exercise on a regular basis, between 2-3 times per week. I've never been good about this, perhaps because, in my house growing up, I always had to defend physical activity and still harbor remaining guilt everytime I exercise. How to conquer: I'm taking a pilates class, I am trying to find time for running, and I joined my new company's softball team.
2. Expand musical vocabulary. I've always thought I was bad at music, especially singing. Apparantly, all I needed was a little training. My choir at Kol Ami has helped. Our choir, and a buunch of others from around Chicagoland (I hate that phrase), performed with Julie Silver. Last night, I sang in the purim spiel, titled Rhapsody in Shul. We took Gerswhin songs and rewrote the lyrics. I had my first solo ever. It scared me to death. Matt took pictures and Karyn's Matt took video. Initial pictures are at larsenopolis.blogspot.com. How to conquer: Well, last night helped. But, it just gave me the bug to do more. I'm going to take voice and piano lessons.
3. Return to performing. I miss it. It's been awhile. After leaving improv to explore scripted work and then having my worst audition of my life (on the CSz stage, no less), I stopped doing theatre. The wedding helped, then life got away from me and I didn't have time for theatre. I've decided to make time and return to performing. How to conquer: I'm taking an improv class at ComedySportz. I'm pretty sure my skills are rusty (read: lost, bad), and I'm afraid of looking like an idiot in front of a friend, but I've decided this is a needed hurdle in order to get back on the horse.
4. Get serious about my writing. I have pieces I'm really proud of that sit on my desk and gather dust. It kills me, but I'm too afraid to do anything with it. Why? No idea. How to conquer: I'm going to start sending things out seriously.
I realize it's ambitious, but ambition is one of the few things that doesn't frighten me.
My goals this spring:
1. Exercise on a regular basis, between 2-3 times per week. I've never been good about this, perhaps because, in my house growing up, I always had to defend physical activity and still harbor remaining guilt everytime I exercise. How to conquer: I'm taking a pilates class, I am trying to find time for running, and I joined my new company's softball team.
2. Expand musical vocabulary. I've always thought I was bad at music, especially singing. Apparantly, all I needed was a little training. My choir at Kol Ami has helped. Our choir, and a buunch of others from around Chicagoland (I hate that phrase), performed with Julie Silver. Last night, I sang in the purim spiel, titled Rhapsody in Shul. We took Gerswhin songs and rewrote the lyrics. I had my first solo ever. It scared me to death. Matt took pictures and Karyn's Matt took video. Initial pictures are at larsenopolis.blogspot.com. How to conquer: Well, last night helped. But, it just gave me the bug to do more. I'm going to take voice and piano lessons.
3. Return to performing. I miss it. It's been awhile. After leaving improv to explore scripted work and then having my worst audition of my life (on the CSz stage, no less), I stopped doing theatre. The wedding helped, then life got away from me and I didn't have time for theatre. I've decided to make time and return to performing. How to conquer: I'm taking an improv class at ComedySportz. I'm pretty sure my skills are rusty (read: lost, bad), and I'm afraid of looking like an idiot in front of a friend, but I've decided this is a needed hurdle in order to get back on the horse.
4. Get serious about my writing. I have pieces I'm really proud of that sit on my desk and gather dust. It kills me, but I'm too afraid to do anything with it. Why? No idea. How to conquer: I'm going to start sending things out seriously.
I realize it's ambitious, but ambition is one of the few things that doesn't frighten me.
10 March 2006
File: Links, Tech
CNN Money has this article: http://money.cnn.com/2006/03/10/technology/business2_writerly0310/.
I love it. Writerly is a program Matt and I both use and love. I'm both hapy and sad Google's acquired it. I love all of Google's services, but am not a big fan of their ads. Sigh.
I love it. Writerly is a program Matt and I both use and love. I'm both hapy and sad Google's acquired it. I love all of Google's services, but am not a big fan of their ads. Sigh.
09 March 2006
08 March 2006
File: Links
06 March 2006
File: Art, Life, Love
We watched the Oscars last night on the big screen at The Vic. Very fun. I hadn't seen any of the big movies. Two movies I saw: March of the Penguins and Wallace & Grommit. Voted for (and won) March of the Penguins. Voted against (and lost) Wallace & Grommit.
My optimism knows no end. Even though I only got 25 percent of my picks correct (that's 6 out of 24 for the kids in the back row), I still feel like I have a chance of recouping my $3 in the office Oscar Pool. I really feel like I could have a chance. My correct picks: Best Picture (Crash), Best Supporting Actor (dreamy George Clooney), Best Feature Documentary, Best Sound Mixing (King Kong), Best Visual Effects (King Kong), Best Actor (P.S. Hoffman). This does make me want to jump onboard Matt's Netflix train and start renting movies.
We celebrated our second wedding anniversary this weekend with a trip to Starved Rock. It's crazy that we've been married two years, and together for five. I feel so lucky and happy to have found Matt. I'll post pictures from our trip soon.
Special birthday note: Happy Birthday, Karen (I know it was yesterday). Here's to many more penguins!
***Update*** I didn't win the Oscar pool. But, I didn't come in last either. I was a very respectable (for me) third from the bottom.
My optimism knows no end. Even though I only got 25 percent of my picks correct (that's 6 out of 24 for the kids in the back row), I still feel like I have a chance of recouping my $3 in the office Oscar Pool. I really feel like I could have a chance. My correct picks: Best Picture (Crash), Best Supporting Actor (dreamy George Clooney), Best Feature Documentary, Best Sound Mixing (King Kong), Best Visual Effects (King Kong), Best Actor (P.S. Hoffman). This does make me want to jump onboard Matt's Netflix train and start renting movies.
We celebrated our second wedding anniversary this weekend with a trip to Starved Rock. It's crazy that we've been married two years, and together for five. I feel so lucky and happy to have found Matt. I'll post pictures from our trip soon.
Special birthday note: Happy Birthday, Karen (I know it was yesterday). Here's to many more penguins!
***Update*** I didn't win the Oscar pool. But, I didn't come in last either. I was a very respectable (for me) third from the bottom.
02 March 2006
File: Writing
Jenn asked about favorite words. I posted a comment over at www.milkring.com, but it got so involved, I thought I'd post it here too.
Ilk.
It means 'type or kind.'
Here's the word history, according to dictionary.com: "Middle English ilke, same, from Old English ilca. See i- in Indo-European Roots. When one uses ilk, as in the phrase men of his ilk, one is using a word with an ancient pedigree even though the sense of ilk, kind or sort,” is actually quite recent, having been first recorded at the end of the 18th century. This sense grew out of an older use of ilk in the phrase of that ilk, meaning of the same place, territorial designation, or name.” This phrase was used chiefly in names of landed families, Guthrie of that ilk meaning “Guthrie of Guthrie. “Same” is the fundamental meaning of the word. The ancestors of ilk, Old English ilca and Middle English ilke, were common words, usually appearing with such words as the or that, but the word hardly survived the Middle Ages in those uses."
My favorite moment with this word: When my dad and I wrote his book, I was in charge of the introduction. Dad never read it until the book was in print. The day the book shipped, he was standing in our living room, thumbing through the hardcover fruit of our labors. He starts to read the introduction, gets halfway through, comes upon my favorite word, and swears to the room at large, "What the hell does ilk mean? BRANDI!"
Lesson: Sometimes a little word is a big word. And, it's no fun to be a pretentious word snob because, above all, words are supposed to be the vehicle for communication.
Okay, I realize I'm getting way too dorky with this, but I'm a writer, love reading, and above all, love words. This is my favorite because of its quirkiness.
And now I ask you: What's your favorite word?
Ilk.
It means 'type or kind.'
Here's the word history, according to dictionary.com: "Middle English ilke, same, from Old English ilca. See i- in Indo-European Roots. When one uses ilk, as in the phrase men of his ilk, one is using a word with an ancient pedigree even though the sense of ilk, kind or sort,” is actually quite recent, having been first recorded at the end of the 18th century. This sense grew out of an older use of ilk in the phrase of that ilk, meaning of the same place, territorial designation, or name.” This phrase was used chiefly in names of landed families, Guthrie of that ilk meaning “Guthrie of Guthrie. “Same” is the fundamental meaning of the word. The ancestors of ilk, Old English ilca and Middle English ilke, were common words, usually appearing with such words as the or that, but the word hardly survived the Middle Ages in those uses."
My favorite moment with this word: When my dad and I wrote his book, I was in charge of the introduction. Dad never read it until the book was in print. The day the book shipped, he was standing in our living room, thumbing through the hardcover fruit of our labors. He starts to read the introduction, gets halfway through, comes upon my favorite word, and swears to the room at large, "What the hell does ilk mean? BRANDI!"
Lesson: Sometimes a little word is a big word. And, it's no fun to be a pretentious word snob because, above all, words are supposed to be the vehicle for communication.
Okay, I realize I'm getting way too dorky with this, but I'm a writer, love reading, and above all, love words. This is my favorite because of its quirkiness.
And now I ask you: What's your favorite word?
File: Writing, Life
Tuesday was our two-year anniversary. I feel like our relationship keeps getting more incredible with every day. Okay, not every day, as we have our days when we're not as close, but overall, the more time we spend together the more I feel alive. I feel so happy, lucky, and blessed. We didn't celebrate on Tuesday,, but we're going to the Landers house out in Utica this weekend. Can I hear it for Utica? It's near Starved Rock, which is supposed to be a really great state park. Matt planned it, so I'm really proud of him.
Only minus about hitting our two-year anniversary: we're no longer newlyweds. Hopefully,we'll keep the spirit.
I miss writing BookADay, but with the contest I'm judging, there's no time to really write. Two more weeks and I'll get to return to reading what I want.
Also, I'm going to put into the Oscar pool at work. I haven't seen any of the movies. Suggestions?
Only minus about hitting our two-year anniversary: we're no longer newlyweds. Hopefully,we'll keep the spirit.
I miss writing BookADay, but with the contest I'm judging, there's no time to really write. Two more weeks and I'll get to return to reading what I want.
Also, I'm going to put into the Oscar pool at work. I haven't seen any of the movies. Suggestions?
01 March 2006
File: Life
Totally rocking out on the way home. 2 cars have stared at me. But the woman in the minivan was doing a literal head bop to Shakira. I muted mine just to hear her.
Looking at this picture in my browser, I've realized that it says "Closer to Fin" instead of "Closer to Fine." I'm not sure which song title I prefer, but the former seems to work with the topic.
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